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You know you're south african when...

  • Stephan Becker
    May 2007
    YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:

    You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume"

    You call a traffic light a "robot"

    The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are

    The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished watching

    You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather

    You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any

    You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them

    You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Madela

    You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors (long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously

    You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State

    You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer

    You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement

    You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car

    You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers

    To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750

    Hijacking cars is a profession

    You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light

    The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car

    More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election

    "Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month

    You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction

    Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway

    You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it

    A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes

    The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday

    You paint your car's registration on the roof

    You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital

    You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one

    Prisoners go on strike

    You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car

    You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once

    Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high

    When 2 Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Zulu ad

    You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from SA

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