hugh grant
April 2006
who exactly is the middle man, and what is his real name..---
why do forks have three prongs when they only need two..---
why are round pizza's served in a square box..---
Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?---
Does a baby feel the umbilical cord being cut off?
Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"?
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?---
If you have a pet with 2 heads do you have to name both heads?
Why can't liquor freeze?---
If you dig a hole in the south pole are you digging up or down?---
How come they don't add the time that we are in our mom's to our age?---
Why do people squint their eyes when they can't see? Wouldn't that just make it less space to see out of?----
What is a hacky, and why is it in a sack?----
Who was in the kitchen with Dina?---
Why do we have to pay a toll on "freeways"?---
Why do they call them pepperoni if there is no pepper in it?---
How old does something have to be to become an antique?---
Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?---
Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?---
Do babies produce more spit than adults?---
How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?----
Do cows have calf muscles?---
Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not?---
If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?----
If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?---
Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?---
If you died with braces on would they take them off?---
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?---
Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?---
Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?---
If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?---
Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot?---
Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?---
Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?---
How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?---
Have ex-punsters been expunged?---
Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional?---
Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?---
Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?---
Have ex-bankers become disinterested?---
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?---
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?---
After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?---
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?---
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?---
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?---
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?---
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?---
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?---
Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?---
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?---
Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?---
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?----
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?---
Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?----
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?---
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?--
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?---
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?---
Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?---
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?---
Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?---
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?---
Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?---
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?---
Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?---
Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?---
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?----
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?---
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?---
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?---
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?---
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?----
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?---
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?---
Why do we have hot water heaters?---
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?---
Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?---
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?---
Why do they report power outages on TV?---
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?---
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?---
Why do they call it disposable douche? Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?---
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?---
How can there be "self help GROUPS"?---
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?---
How can someone "draw a blank"?---
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?---
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?---
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?---
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?---Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you?
How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with?
What should one call a male ladybird?
What would you use to dilute water?
How come overtones and undertones are the same thing?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
Why are turds pinched off at the end?
What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
If you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain to?
How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Why do the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune?
Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?
Why did they name that underwear company fruit of the loom?
Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?
How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
If the speed of movement is slower than the speed of light - how fast is a moving light?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth?
If you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?
How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot?
Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
How can you hear yourself think?
How can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy?
What would happen if an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object?
Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?
Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?
Why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of they skating rings?
Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?
Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
If when people freak out they are said to be "having a cow", when cows freak out are they said to be "having a person?"
Why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist?
If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids?
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
Can blind people see their dreams?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?
If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
Did they have antiques in the olden days?
Why are pennies bigger than dimes?
If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first?
How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?
What do you call male ballerinas?
Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?
Why do they call it a black light when it's really purple?
thanx, any1 who can answer all my questions gets a hundred bucks..
must be proper answeres..
