Saffa's on the Rock

Author: Brandon Foster

7th January 2004

Well howzit bbing world. I know its been a while, sorry but its been tough to get on Internet easily in Hawaii. I have been on the north shore of Oahu for 2 months now, good times. But wave wise it has been the worst season ever so far, bad waves, wind and weather have lead to many un-surfed days, movie runs and sports playing. I have been living with the rest of the South African bodyboarders in the Keiki Ghetto since day one and the palace, as we like to call it, has slowly gotten worse and worse. The roof has caved in on us; toilets clogged for weeks, fungus in the shower and crazy ants have really made us all pay our dues. Talking of dues, most of the South Africans have been coming to Hawaii the longest and are the eldest out of all the grommets (mostly ozzies I might add) living in the Keiki Ghetto and therefore started enforcing that position. SA man Ian Metcalf has taken the name "God Father" due to his short temper and over ruling nature of kiss my ring or get flogged. I have dropped the name, but not the antics of Old Dirty Brandon and now go by "THE DON". Due to the "Godfather" using me as his muscle many a time. HAHAHAHA its soooooo funny I have seen him drive clean over bicycles, bodyboards and fins that the groms have left in his parking spot. Some groms think its cool to come to our Braai's (South African for barbeque) and burn the "godfathers" drying socks, mistake no.1. That grommet was beaten as he slept and then made to come to our palace first thing in the morning on Christmas morning and be our maid. Then some of them try and come and have some drinks with the SA's that's cool but then vomit on our veranda, no I don't think so. THE DON got that fruit loop to clean it and then the next morning put on a maid beanie and clean our house and do the dishes while we all watched a movie. Man I laughed but it was all good times. The groms need to know their place on the north shore. If you're a first and second year'er on the North Shore you not getting a cool nick name and even worse u getting no waves from the Godfather crew.....

Many night the boys have invited ladies back to the pad for a drink or dinner and the look on their faces when they walk in is just tooooooo funny. I have cried with laughter at their reactions many a night. Slowly the SA's room of the ghetto has gotten better and better. We now have a big screen TV, DVD player, lap top computer, boom box and many DVD's. This is due to the lack of waves you have to do something so we decked out the entertainment centre. We will be moving into the Keiki Bungalows which are right in front of Keiki Shorie soon, so all the boys are amped seen as the best wave on the north shore this year has been there and the SA boys love that place. I have seen some of the craziest stuff this year at Keiki Shore Break. Aussies like Crashie, the Omrod brothers, Brendan Newton and Harry Dickson, SA boys Hankus Loubser, Oros, Sacha Specker, Ian Metcalf and Marc Jucker all charging sooooooo hard. One day we had just got out from surfing Log Cabins and began walking home to our palace in front of the Keiki rocks when we saw some of the heaviest barrels coming through. The boys were already on it and as I put my fins on Hankus Loubser caught an 8 ft bomb and air dropped from the top to the bottom (didn't bail his board just hung on and bounced face first up into the hugest pit. The beach went wild it was like being at the X-Games when Tony did the 900. Guys where just slamming their boards on the sand and shouting. There is nothing like mutant Keiki with your mates I love it. With the lack of epic swell and conditions it's been tough for first timers and regulars to stand out but a few guys have been going balls to the walls. Guys like Mike Murphy from the East Coast USA, Tim Fowler, Sacha Specker and Hankus Loubser have been busting huge this year. On the DK scene Central coast DKer Tom Doultan has been showing that there are still dkers who could de-thrown DK king Matt Lackey on the OZZIE DK scene. I don't know if anyone has heard but earlier this season due to rare sand bars and swell directions Log Cabins was looking like Off The Wall on steroids. It was crazy. If you know Log Cabins you will understand this can be one of the most dangerous place to surf on the north shore due to the random and sporadic reef patterns. One 8-10ft day we were surfing and a Peruvian bodyboarder paddled out, we had been surfing for a few hours when I saw him turn and go on a mutant keg I was like ooooooo crap but never gave it another thought due to the set I had to duck dive after his wave. Well what happened was this guy tried to straighten out and got the 8fter on the head where we think he either hit the reef or the lip broke his back and then that whole set landed on him. Well he had to be rescued by fellow surfers and bodyboarders and on the beach he was revived but unfortunately on the way to the hospital he passed away. It was terrible. We all knew it could have been any of us. Reminds you be sure of what u do, what u say and how u live cause u never know if today could be the day you are taken.

Well on a brighter note the Pipe Contest waiting period begins tomorrow but the wind is up and swell is down so it looks like tennis will be the call of the day as people start stressing about better conditions. I have to surf in the main event due to no DropKnee division again well I just hope the waves are sick and not chopped up 8ft slop. Everyone is amped this year due to all trials being held at Pipe and not on the south side or at Turtle Bay, which are KUK. Hopefully I will be able to up date soon maybe half way through the contest.

Well CHEERS
GOD BLESS
BRANDON FOSTER

PS stay tuned for "KEIKI HOUSE 2004" All the action from the North Shore but no big locals beatin on you.

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